My shrunken head

I fully understand the human condition and the basic desire to know that there are people worse off than ourselves. In a sick and twisted way, knowing these things make us feel more content and okay with the fact that we are all dysfunctional in some way. I mean, I’d be hard pressed to meet one single person who hasn’t laughed to the point of near incontinence when Maury Povich emphatically announces that though he is the 6th person tested, Darnell is NOT the father of Bon’Qui Qui’s 7 month old daughter, Sha’ Nay Nay. I myself never tire of the inevitable booty slapping dance of joy from Darnell which is always followed up with Bon’ Qui Qui’s subsequent knocking over the chair and hysterical running off stage because she was 100% sure he was the baby daddy. It’s funny.

In saying this however there has to be a line of decency and I think TLC has officially crossed it with their new reality show entitled, ‘My Giant Head’. I mean really… people in North America will watch with bated breath as the 650 pound virgin strives to get his cherry popped, loyally follow the train wreck that was Jon and Kate, weep for poor Kiniki who will never sing Grease Lightning again unless Dr. Drew can cure his addiction and cheer for the half ton mother to finally be able to play with her children after the stomach stapling surgery… but a giant head? C’mon! Have we really sunk so far that our entertainment requires intentionally turning on a show about some guy who’s head won’t stop growing? My initial question of course when I heard about this show was, “well how big IS the head exactly”? Sickeningly, I wondered, can he fit into cars using the regular sedan size doors or is the sliding door of a mini-van the only option for him and his gargantuan head, can he only wear button up shirts, does his stylist charge double for a wash and cut? I suppose the answers to these questions will be on the show, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to watch this particular brand of misfortune. Perhaps this topic just hits a little too close to home for me because my ex-husband has a freakishly large head (no offence intended to him) or maybe it’s because my own head is so small it borders on consideration for shrunken status… but my moral code, regardless of how loosey-goosey it’s been in the past, will just not allow me to do it.

Maybe I have reached the threshold for my reality TV capacity. What ever happened to shows like Cheers where people could connect with Norm’s desire to escape Vera or Cliff’s unhealthy co-dependence on his mother? Even kids shows … I used to race home from school so I could see what the new drama on Degrassi was going to be… How will Spike cope with being a teenage mom? Will Wheels finally meet his absentee father? Are Arthur and Yik able to repair their friendship? I can honestly say that the reason I didn’t try acid in high school was because I didn’t want to pull a ‘Shane’ and dive bomb off the roof believing that I could fly. Yeah, Degrassi… that was a show!

Have we really lost the ability to imagine and create our own realities? Is being entertained by the oversized cranium of Mr. Sain Mumtaz easier to do than to accept our own ailments and issues? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think it’s fair to say that in my life there has been more than one thing that could have quite handily been made into a reality series and somehow I managed to find my way out just fine without TLC... well fine-ish at least! Sure, from time to time I exploited Darnell and Bon’ Qui Qui to make me feel a bit better, but whatever. I really do hope the doctors find a cure for Sain’s exploding head… perhaps he’s Sha’Nay Nay’s daddy. Somebody ought to call Maury.