So it seems that I am no longer in my 20's. I mean I suppose I should have realized this fact 5 years ago when I turned 30 but it didn't occur to me until just recently when I tried on a funky pair of camouflage cargo pants. I spun in the dressing room, admiring my camo-clad butt from every angle and decided that I absolutely could not live one more minute without them. I had fantasies about coupling my new pants with a sassy white tank top, flip flops and perhaps a whimsical ball cap and walking through the produce aisle at No Frills in June looking like a camo-godess, not unlike Lara Croft. She-Zam!!! I walked out of the dressing room only to notice a young woman who was trying on the same pair of pants and wearing a college sweatshirt. Her friends were oogling over her and talking about how great they would look with a white tank top in the summer. She was a truly beautiful young woman and looked totally amazing in her pants; I was so pleased that I too was a member of the cool-camo-cargo-pant club. We were practically twins this college girl and me!
So in my happy fantasy land, I went up to the cash to pay and while I was waiting for the checkout associate, my twin said to her friends, "these are a bit big, can you grab me a size 3?" I almost fell down. A size 3? How could that be??? We were twins... yet my pants held a tag which very clearly stated size 12. Her and I were the same, identical twins even. How could my perfectly sassy pants be 9 sizes bigger than hers??? My world started to shrink, the silver chain belts hanging beside the till started clanging together and the slogan t-shirts that said 'save a horse ride a cowboy' and 'I'm a natural blonde... you will have to speak slowly' started to come alive.
Oh My GAWD... I am 35 years old. I have 2 children, 3 step-children, an ex-husband, a fiancee, a golden retreiver, a career and I laugh out loud at the Kraft tex-mex cheese commercial where the woman has a pinata that looks like her mother in law . I am approaching middle age. I have officially moved up to a different demographic check box on survey's which I fill out regularly to get free samples of maxi-pads and granola bars. I am not in the same club as the college girl who wears a size 3. If I buy these pants, someone will submit my name for that show 'What Not to Wear' and I don't think I can cope with that. It's a small town. I can no longer wear camouflage cargo pants.
Hold the bus here Lara! If the world didn't want a 30 something goddess to wear camo-cargo pants, why would they make them in larger sizes?
ReplyDeleteI still wear Converse All Stars. It's a personal inner struggle that I suffer with. I try to be 35. I buy adult, respectable yet fun footwear. But for some reason I just can't help myself. Maybe when I'm 40...
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